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Pregnancy & Relationships: Protecting Well-Being During Times of Change

23 Jan 2026
3 min read

This article is based on the original Maudsley Learning blog, Pregnancy & Partnership Well-Being In A Pandemic, written by Dr Camilla Tooley.

Pregnancy can bring joy, meaning and a powerful sense of “we’re becoming a family.” It can also bring uncertainty, vulnerability and pressure, sometimes all in the same day.

That combination is completely normal. Pregnancy (and the first year after birth) is a major physical, psychological and relational transition. In the NHS, this whole period is often described as “perinatal”: the time you are pregnant and up to 12 months after giving birth.

Whether you’re navigating a difficult pregnancy - a previous loss, personal stress or work stress, financial worries, family illness, relationship tensions, or simply the emotional weight of such a big life change - your wellbeing matters, and so does the health of your partnership.

This article offers a practical, compassionate framework for supporting mental health and relationship wellbeing during pregnancy and early parenthood.

Why pregnancy can feel emotionally “tender” for individuals and couples

Pregnancy can intensify existing patterns; the ways we cope with stress, the way we communicate, and the stories we carry about our bodies, safety, and responsibility.

Clinically, we also know that pregnancy and the first year after birth are higher-risk periods for mental health difficulties. Depression and anxiety are among the most common concerns in pregnancy (around 12% and 13% respectively in some summaries), and difficulties can continue or emerge after birth.

It’s also important to say clearly: partners and co-parents can be affected too. The NHS notes that postnatal depression can affect fathers and partners, not only mothers.

This isn’t about “not coping.” It’s about your nervous system and your relationship adapting to a major life event, often with limited sleep, changing roles, and lots of external noise.

Common stressors that show up in pregnancy and early parenthood

Different people experience pregnancy differently, but some themes come up again and again:

  • Safety worries around health concerns, birth fears, fear of “getting it wrong”

  • Identity shifts due to becoming a parent can stir up past experiences and expectations

  • Changes in intimacy - desire, comfort, body image and energy can and tend to fluctuate

  • Practical pressure, including appointments, work, finances, housing, childcare planning

  • Different coping styles: one person wants to talk; another goes quiet or problem-solves

  • Reduced support, as friends/family may be less available than you hoped

When these stack up, couples can start to interpret stress as a relationship problem (“we’re not okay”) rather than a shared challenge (“we’re under strain”).

A useful reframe is: the stress is the third person in the room. You’re on the same side.

When stress becomes a mental health concern

Some emotional ups and downs are expected. But it may be time to seek extra support if you notice:

  • low mood most days, tearfulness, numbness, or loss of pleasure

  • persistent anxiety, panic, or constant “what if” thinking

  • intrusive, distressing thoughts that feel frightening or shameful

  • sleep problems beyond what you’d expect (even when you have the chance to rest)

  • feeling detached from the pregnancy/baby, or overwhelmed by guilt

  • irritability that feels out of character, frequent conflict, or withdrawal

  • thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness

If you recognise yourself here, you’re not alone, and help is available. NICE guidance covers recognising and treating a wide range of mental health problems in pregnancy and the year after birth, including depression, anxiety disorders and severe mental illness.

Urgent note: postpartum psychosis is rare but serious and is treated as an emergency; NHS guidance advises urgent support (A&E/999 if there is risk of harm).

“Good enough” wellbeing: practical habits that protect mental health

When life feels intense, “wellbeing” can sound like another job to do perfectly. Instead, aim for small, repeatable practices that make things slightly easier on your mind and body.

1. Simplify the information you take in

If you’re absorbing lots of advice (apps, forums, social media, family opinions), your brain may be in constant comparison mode. Choose one or two trusted sources, and give yourself permission to step back from the rest.

2. Build small recovery moments into each day

Recovery isn’t always a long bath or a perfect yoga session. It can be:

  • 10 minutes of fresh air

  • a short nap or lying down with eyes closed

  • a “no admin” window after dinner

  • eating something steadying before you crash

If you’re a partner reading this: practical support (food, planning, taking on tasks) is often some of the most powerful mental health support you as an individual can offer.

3. Name the worry, don’t become the worry

A simple exercise:

  • “The worry is: ______.”

  • “The evidence for/against is: ______.”

  • “What I can do today is: ______.”

This helps move anxiety out of a swirling feeling and into a clearer, manageable shape.

4. Protect sleep where possible

Sleep disruption is common in pregnancy and early parenting, but it’s also tightly linked to mood and anxiety. If sleep is severely disrupted, talk to a midwife, GP or health visitor.

Relationship wellbeing: how to stay connected under pressure

A strong partnership isn’t necessarily one where nobody argues, but rather one where you can repair, reconnect and feel emotionally safe.

A “check-in” that works for busy, tired couples (10 minutes)

Try this once or twice a week:

  1. One appreciation each (“Something I noticed you did…”)

  2. One stress each (“What’s been hardest this week…”)

  3. One request each (specific, doable, kind)

Keep requests concrete:

  • “Can you handle dinner on Tuesdays?”

  • “Can we decide together how we’ll share nights?”

  • “Can you ask before offering solutions, I might need comfort first?”

Understand your different coping styles

In couples work, a common pattern is:

  • one person pursues (talks, seeks reassurance)

  • the other withdraws (goes quiet, distracts, tries to stay functional)

Neither is “wrong.” Both are attempts to regulate stress. If you can name the pattern, you can start to soften it:

  • “I’m withdrawing because I’m overwhelmed, not because I don’t care.”

  • “I’m asking questions because I’m scared, not because I don’t trust you.”

Intimacy and sex: permission for change

Pregnancy and early parenthood can affect desire, comfort and body confidence. Try to think of intimacy as a spectrum: closeness, touch, affection, humour, feeling like a team - not only sex. If sex becomes stressful or pressured, slow it down and talk openly (or seek professional support).

Safety matters: domestic abuse and controlling behaviour

It’s also important to name a difficult reality: pregnancy can be a time when domestic abuse begins or escalates, and it can include emotional, psychological, sexual or financial control - not only physical violence.

If you are worried about your safety, you deserve support. The NHS has guidance on recognising domestic abuse and where to get help, including steps to seek support safely, including:

If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services.

When and where to seek support

If you feel you need help with your mental health, the NHS advises speaking to a midwife, health visitor or GP - whichever you feel most comfortable with - who can refer to specialist perinatal mental health support if needed.

If you think you might be depressed after birth, you are deserving of support, getting help early is imperative, as symptoms can last months or worsen without support.

If you or someone you know may be at risk of imminent harm, seek urgent help (999/A&E).

Final thoughts

If pregnancy or early parenthood is testing your mental health or your relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It usually means you’re human, in a demanding transition, and you may need more support than you expected.

At Maudsley Learning, we’re committed to translating clinical expertise into practical, compassionate learning and resources that support real people in real pressure.

References

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